Be The Change? -The Rantings of a Social Worker

Dear Friends and Readers, 

We, as youth workers or parents or role models in the community, are teaching and molding and raising our community’s children. We are teaching them how to be role models themselves. We are teaching them how to be a functioning member of society and a person who changes the world for good. But before we teach it, we have to live it. 

Warning: Miss Brenda is getting her “gusto” on.

For us to mold children into the type of people who change the world for good, we must be the type of people who change the world for good. For us to instill empathy, we must feel empathy. For us encourage generosity, we must practice generosity.

If we expect that 10 year old to resolve conflict in a mature and non-violent way, we must do that in our own lives, and in our country, and in the world. As a country and a state and a neighborhood, if we want kids who work together and express love and seek knowledge and think before they act and support their peers, then we, as a country or state or neighborhood must do the same. 

BECOME AWARE OF INJUSTICE

In order to create a more just world, we must become aware of how our world is unjust. In order to create a solution, we must identify and explore the problem. Drive on city streets- not the highway. Drive and look. Visit a homeless shelter and learn people’s names. Learn people’s stories. Share your wealth. Share your love. 

Read books. Lots and lots of books. There are a hundred and one books and stories that will never be enough to communicate the horror of this that have happened and are happening to the children of our world. But if we want to change the world for good, and if we want to raise kids to change the world, then we need to first know, and know deeply, what injustices exist. And these stories can show us glimpses. Stories like A Long Way Gone, by Ishmael Beah. Stories like Enrique’s Journey, by Sonia Nazario. Stories like Turning Stones, by Marc Parent and Lakota Woman, by Mary Crow Dog.

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you learn these stories and let them change your life. I also can’t recommend strongly enough that you prepare yourself for the suffering you will encounter when reading these books and watching similar movies and getting to know people who have been there. There are images from these stories that will haunt me until my dying day. 

BECAUSE KIDS SUFFER FROM INJUSTICE

I can’t read certain books anymore. I can’t watch certain movies or have unemotional conversations and debates about certain political an social issues. Not because of the books or movies or issues themselves, but because of the kids I know who have been there.

If you work with kids long enough, and do your job, you will have to call CPS. There is no getting around it. If you work with kids who aren’t white, you will encounter racism. If you work with kids who aren’t upper or middle class, you will encounter poverty and classism. If you work with kids who are from another country, especially a non-western country, you will encounter xenophobia and the effects of militarism and  neocolonialism. 

I looked into the face of a girl who had been molested by multiple adults, whose mom was dating a gang leader, whose home had been set on fire because of a drug debt that hadn’t been paid on time. I looked into the face of a boy who had watched his sister be raped and was chased from his home country, only to be rejected by a foster family in the US years later. I watch kids leave the Club and know what homes some of them are going back to. 

Kids are effected by injustice… even white, suburban, English-speaking, middle class American kids. We need to know about what is going on because it impacts them. Because sooner or later, if you work with kids, especially if you work with an at-risk population of kids, it will impact you and your work. Know what your are working with. Know the issues and injustices that might arise. Because in knowing these things, you know your kids. 

BECAUSE KIDS FIGHT INJUSTICE

If each of us chose to learn about our world and chose to care, there is no way we could possibly go on as we did before. There is no way we could not be generous and kind and peaceful. There is no way we could not fight for justice. And in watching us do so, our youth would follow along. 

I am sick of hearing about highschoolers and middle schoolers who rebel against authority figures to stand up for what is right. Kudos to them and I hope that I am helping to raise children that will speak up for the truth, but shouldn’t we be leading them in that? Shouldn’t we pave the way for our youth to make a difference? Fighting injustice is hard enough. Why is it that youth so often have to fight their parents and their schools at the same time?

When I was in high school, a few kids tried to sell bracelets to raise money to find a cure for cancer. The same type of cancer that one of our teachers was just diagnosed with… but they were told that they couldn’t do so in school. Really? REALLY? 

The same teacher who had cancer was perhaps one of the best teachers I ever had. She allowed our class to put off learning about government to instead run a clothing drive for hurricane victims. We later took a break to make a “get well soon” video for a classmate who had almost died in a car accident. I know as much about government as I would have if we had focused on it every class period. But I learned way more about citizenship than I would have from a text book. 

The government doesn’t work without the participation of the people. It can’t solve the problems of everyone in our country in an effective way. But a country full of good neighbors? A world full of people who are aware and generous and peaceful and just and kind? Those individuals could do what the government never could. 

As a Christian, I believe that someday God will make the world new and will make the world a place where there is no more tears or sorrow or pain. A place where everyone is loving and there is perfect unity. But who is to say that we can’t start showing one another glimpses of that paradise now? Who is to say we can’t teach our kids to act in a way that brings about some of that goodness as well? In a way that brings hope for that promise of a better future?

In the big picture, yes, entropy is real and things will probably get worse before they get better. No one person or even group of people can fix the world.

But the Kingdom of God…

The Kingdom isn’t just someday.

It is right here and it is right now.

It is whenever and where ever we allow
the goodness and love of Jesus  to flow through our actions.

And in the even bigger picture, 

those moments where we chose to live hopefully, 

and where we chose to live grace and justice and peace and mercy,

and where we chose to live in a way that shows the world the Kingdom of God and all His glory?

Those moments have an eternal impact.

An impact that is immeasurable by anyone but God himself.

And that is something worth living out daily and teaching our children. 

But it starts with us. It starts with you and with me. It starts here and it starts now. 

~Miss Brenda

“A Record Setting Day”

Dear Friends and Readers,

My first camp that I planned at the Boys and Girls Club was a one day camp in the middle of winter. Kids had a random day in January off for teacher preparation- so the club stayed open to help absorb the kids and allow parents to still go to work. To try to get kids active without depleting our very limited resources, we had “A Record Setting Day” where members attempted to make and break records for the day.

It was incredibly easy on staff and our budget, and kids had a blast! Here is what we did:

Activity: Record Setting Competitions

Instructions:

• Plan a handful of quick competitions. Things like “How many erasers can you throw into the cup in 1 minute?” or “How long can you balance this styrofoam bowl in your head?” or “How long of a paper clip chain can you make in 2 minutes?”
• Keep track of how well kids do and have a record board or awards ceremony for the kids that win. They will be more into it if they are competitive.

Requirements:

• Miscellaneous Office Supplies, Paper bowls/cups.
• 1 Staff per 10 kids.

Activity: Trophy Making 

Instructions:

• Put kids in teams. Have kids compete to create the “best” trophy. Give teams 20-40 minutes to complete the trophy and then give out awards for best craftsmanship, most themed, most creative, best teamwork, etc.
• You can either give kids specific supplies and make them use it ALL (for a challenge) or have a supply station that kids can pick out what they want from. Have staff give out tape to save $$$.
• Have kids prepare a few things to say about their trophy/experience. Debrief with kids (What was hard? What was easy? Were there any communication issues?)

Requirements:

• Recyclables (wrapping paper tubes, glitter, water bottles, cans, etc), tape, markers.
• 1 staff per 10-20 kids.

Youth Work and Cooking

Dear Friends and Readers,

I have been causing kitchen disasters almost as long as I have been working with youth. In an attempt to distract myself from my latest war wound (a pretty nasty cut on my middle finger – how ever will I drive?), I have decided to create a venn diagram of youth work and cooking. The “cooking” side may or may not be based on actual events in my kitchen… Bon Appetit!

Thanks for reading!

~Miss Brenda

Miss Brenda Returns

Dear Friends and Readers,

I am emerging from the black hole known as “Interim Unit Director,” and alas, I am wearing a different name tag than when I started. I have traded in programming for policy. That’s right, I couldn’t get enough of that 80 hour work week and became my boss’s replacement myself.

What does that mean for Miss Brenda? Therapy. (Just kidding… I hope!)

What does that mean for Corduroy’s Button? Why, that is an excellent question!

1. Since my own replacement is getting established, I will *fingers crossed* have enough time to begin writing again.
2. My reflections, plans and experiences with children’s programming will keep coming.
3. These programming posts may be peppered with thoughts, ideas, and dilemmas regarding staff training and management, parent/community relations, policies and procedures, and the dreaded exciting world of fundraising.

Thanks for reading! 

~Miss Brenda

Break from Blogging

Dear Friends and Readers,

I will be taking a break from blogging for the next few months. “Wait, you weren’t already taking a break?”

Okay, so I’ll admit, I have been slacking OUTRAGEOUSLY for the past few months. What can I say? Summer is crazy.

As I am on my blogging sabbatical, I will be sipping mojitos in a lawn chair on coast of Mexico while beautiful men take turns giving me foot rubs. Just kidding. That is what I will be dreaming of… on the nights I am able to sleep.

My boss has made the brave & right decision to not sacrifice her family for the job, and will be moving on. Thus, I will be franticly ever so gracefully trying to fill her shoes without abandoning my own job until we find her replacement. Blogging is being put on the back burner for now.

Prayers are appreciated. So are gift baskets filled with chocolate and wine.

~ Miss Brenda

Work Versus Life: An Epic Battle

Dear Friends and Readers,

I was reading someone else’s blog, and I had a fit of inspiration… or so I thought. I could write about balancing work and life! …but it only took me a second to realize that I have NO CLUE how to balance work and life.

NO CLUE.

And all of the 7 step check lists for how to achieve that perfect level of balance? Entirely unhelpful. Please read the following italics as dripping with sarcasm.

1. “Do less.” But if I do less, that means less gets done. Yes, the sun will still rise tomorrow, but I don’t work in isolation. If I don’t do my job, there are other people who can’t do theirs.
2. “Delegate more.” A lot of what is on my list is delegating to/guiding others anyway! I can’t delegate delegation!
3. “Take a vacation.” But two weeks a year doesn’t balance out the other 50! And coming back from a vacation can be more awful than not taking one!
4. “Good enough is sometimes better than perfect.” If anyone in youth work is still hung up on perfection, then they are new on the job. The goal of “barely acceptable” would be enough to keep us all busy until the wee hours of the morning.
5. “Get organized!” I am quite organized. I am still quite busy.
6. “Schedule your time.” Alone, in the office, powering away at my to-do list… “Miss Brenda to the front desk, Miss Brenda to the front desk.” Back to the office, just sitting down at the desk, and cue rowdy kids in the hallway who need to be moved along. Back in the office, just sitting down at the desk *ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring.*
7. “Leave work at work!” And never check my email or plan programming again? Not sure how that one would work out…

Here is what I have found helpful.

• At work, work comes first. At home, home comes first.
  • Difficult, almost impossible in fact, but worth it. I can’t vouch for the long-term plausibility of this option, but I have been trying in for the past few weeks and it has been relatively successful.
  • When I wake up, I make myself coffee. I make my bed and do my laundry and charge my phone. I refuse to flake out on my other commitments. I take time to laugh with my friends. I even get a full night of sleep!
  • And then, on nights when those things are slower, I spend a chunk of time working ahead (or more accurately, catching up). If slower nights don’t happen, work doesn’t.
  • Yes, that means other people can’t do their jobs as well as they would if I had made my plans more user friendly or sent out that reminder email. And yes, that means our programing isn’t as cool as it could have been. But I have been told that people are forgiving. So far, that theory has proven true.
• Work at home days. 
  • Before summer began, I took a day to step away from our school year program and spent the time preparing for summer. I didn’t come close to catching up, but it was 4 hours of work off my list none the less. Perhaps if I had done this more, I wouldn’t have had as crazy of a June as I did.
  • Then, a few weeks ago, I took another “work at home day” and got a ton of stuff done! And then the Fourth of July happened and I almost tied up all of the loose ends on my projects before leaving for a quick vacation.
  • If work can survive without me when I am sick, then it can survive without me so I can catch up, reduce my stress, and avoid getting sick in the first place.

This is new to me. Hoping and planning to balance work and life better is NOT new to me by any means. Succeeding, however, is incredibly unfamiliar. Surprising even. I’m a few weeks into this new-fangled plan, and will update you later to let you know if it has lasted.

What have you found helpful?

Good luck in your own endevers to find balance!

~Miss Brenda

Summer Reading Club and Mo Willems Day

Dear Friends and Readers,

We have this OUTSTANDING summer Front Desk Manager who happens to also be our AMAZING Education Director during the school year, a former teacher/professional tutor, and pretty much my hero. Each week, she takes a step back from the administrative miracles she works at our front desk to lead our Summer Reading Club.

The kids track how many minutes they each read. They practice their silly voices and read aloud to one another. Our kids have been loving every minute of it! One of the girls is currently crushing me in a “who can read more” competition.

Unfortunately, field trips and days of chaos and vacations and this little thing called Independence Day have all fallen on reading club days. In an effort to keep kids engaged in reading club, I lead a “bonus” meeting a few days ago.

Gasp! I know, right? I got to pause from supervising staff and debriefing timeouts and talking to parents and ducking out for 2 minutes at a time (on a good day) to check my email. I got to play!

To celebrate this momentous occasion, (and because we already had the books checked out from the library for reading club), we had Mo Willems Day, also known as Miss Brenda’s Favorite Children’s Author Day. But, Miss Brenda, I thought Mo Willems books were only for preschoolers? Not anymore. Our elementary angels were…

Here is what we did: 

• I read the Pigeon books aloud to the kids. They reacted & spoke the other half of the conversation to get warmed up. Since the whole group did it, no one was put on the spot. The kids loved it.
• Kids then read the Elephant and Piggie books in partners. I held back the desire to give any tips ahead of time and just waited & watched. Some kids used funny voices. Some kids used dramatic pauses. Some kids read LARGE PRINT VERY LOUDLY and small print in barely a whisper. Some kids stuttered and struggled but stuck with it. They all did amazing!
• Then we moved on to individuals reading books of their own. They each chose from the Pigeon  books or Elephant and Piggie books or Knuffle Bunny books. They did equally outstanding with their solo efforts.
• And then, at the end, because I am and will always be a social worker at heart, we took turns telling each member how great of a job they did. I asked each of them to say at least one nice thing about one other person. Each one of them wanted to say something nice about every other person. Awwwww… I held in my I-am-emotionally-spent-and-need-a-vacation/can’t-hold-in-my-emotions-when-kids-encourage-each-other tears until they left the room. Once they went to their next programs? *Cue Niagara.*

What summer successes have you had this year? 

~Miss Brenda